Reason number #230

Rowan keeps me young. I have always been a strong advocate of humour and silliness and just letting kids be kids. I figure they'll have more than enough time to be adults real soon. Kids say what they mean and they call it like they see it. They live in the moment. They are curious. They question things. They push boundaries. They let their imaginations run wild. They do cartwheels. Their eyes twinkle. They giggle.

It is my opinion that the lucky ones in life never lose sight in the importance of all these things. But most do. I do. Fortunately, I have a three year old that acts as my trigger. He constantly reminds me of the benefits of living a simple life. At times, he can be the best kind of therapy. One that doesn't cost 250 dollars a pop. Amazing, isn't it? A three year old has a better pulse on the keys to happiness then I do. Maybe I should rephrase. Rowan has the key and opens the door. I have the key, but I choose not to open the door. Because of fear. Rowan has no fear.

But it all makes so much sense. Somehow as you progress through life many things get rationalized and explained away. And we become so good at justifying it to ourselves. We have created our own box. We have boxed ourselves in to a place where it is not OK to say what we mean or talk about how we feel for fear of how other people will perceive us. We look forward to the tomorrows. We think how much happier we will be on a vacation next month, or how happy we will be when we find a better job next year...Constantly waiting. In limbo.

It's been a rough week. Rough weeks always lead me to re-thinking, re-evaluating and revising the choices I have made. How to be happy. How to be free. Surprisingly enough, it is in my roughest hours that I just take a seat beside my child, and watch. I go along for the ride. I watch his eyes twinkle. I watch him giggle. I watch him live in the moment. And this makes me content. It comforts me. It awakens a desire for change.

So we built a snowman...